Stand Up Straight

12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan B. Peterson is an interesting book to say the least. Every chapter takes about 30 minutes to read. It meanders around and has highlightable information that I never knew like how psychologists listen to clients.

Every chapter does summarize the how and why of the rules at the end. Rule 1 is Stand Up Straight With Your Shoulders Back.

To quote:

To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open. It means deciding to voluntarily transform the chaos of potential into the realities of habitable order. It means adopting the burden of self-conscious vulnerability, and accepting the end of the unconscious paradise of childhood, where finitude and mortality are only dimly comprehended. It means willingly undertaking the sacrifices necessary to generate a productive and meaningful reality (it means acting to please God, in the ancient language). Page 27

So, attend carefully to your posture. Quit drooping and hunching around. Speak your mind. Put your desires forward, as if you had a right to them—at least the same right as others. Walk tall and gaze forthrightly ahead. Dare to be dangerous. Encourage the serotonin to flow plentifully through the neural pathways desperate for its calming influence. People, including yourself, will start to assume that you are competent and able (or at least they will not immediately conclude the reverse). Emboldened by the positive responses you are now receiving, you will begin to be less anxious. You will then find it easier to pay attention to the subtle social clues that people exchange when they are communicating. Your conversations will flow better, with fewer awkward pauses. This will make you more likely to meet people, interact with them, and impress them. Doing so will not only genuinely increase the probability that good things will happen to you—it will also make those good things feel better when they do happen. Page 27

I put it into practice. Men didn't fear me, women didn't swoon, a promotion didn't fall out of the sky. But I did feel better so it has that going for it. Like I almost know what I'm doing. 

I may do more posts on these...

Background Characters in the Play of Life

I've been training for a 5K, but I don't really run. Until now. Because I'm not good at it I keep improving.

But I'm not perfect. I can't run a 4-minute mile. Because of this, I don't want to look bad.

I care what people think when I do stuff I'm not good at. It's my Type 1 on the Enneagram, I don't want to be wrong or make a mistake.

While I ran, I looked at the people driving by me. I got barely a glance.

Why? Because no one cares about this guy running down the side of the road or sidewalk. We live in our own little bubbles. 90% of the time you're either a background character or seeing others as background characters.

The Part Of The Job I Don't Like

Man, I hate conflict and confrontation. It's my 9 wing at work from the enneagram. Problem is, I'm a type one, which means I see everything that's wrong and it drives me crazy. The other problem is as a supervisor I have to walk the line between anarchy and micromanaging.

Avoiding confrontation happened a lot in the bible. The Patriarchs. Eli and his evil sons. Samuel and his evil sons. King Saul actually had decent kids, but David's kids...one raped his sister, and the other one overthrew him.

He didn't even confront the one who raped his sister. I didn't feel bad at all when Absalom (the one who later overthrew him) killed said brother for that.

If these guys had handled their business, then it probably could have been prevented.

It's up to me to maintain a sense of order and boundaries at work. If I correct them, it's my job to do it right. However, their response to it is their responsibility. It will show me their maturity level.

Write-ups isn't conflict, it's feedback with consequences attached.

In a week, I saw one person flaunt the rules, another lose his job because they failed a drug test, and a new hire almost loses his job.

I wrote up the rule flaunter. Advocated for a second chance for the last one.

All the while thinking, "Why don't you just do right people? If you did what you're supposed to then you wouldn't be in trouble."

Then I remember and see this verse proven over and over again, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

Strength

Musing over what strength is. It's overcoming your weaknesses.

Then you have inherent strength. It has to come with a sense of morality or it would go bad. The Injustice series of comics shows what would happen if Superman went bad. He was almost unstoppable. It took a good Superman from another universe to stop him.

To recognize and overcome our weaknesses yet remain humble cultivates goodness in spite of becoming strong enough that you wouldn't have to stay a good person because no one can stop you.

This scene from Captain America is a favorite about it:

Stalked By Politics

"You used to care about politics! What happened? Are you a sheep now?"

That's not how you win friends or influence people. At one point I was heavily into politics. Now I'm not.

Why? In no particular order:

1. I don't have time to fact-check every claim.
2. It's never cut and dried, always nuanced.
3. I'm burned out from when I was in the fight.
4. I don't have time for this now because my focus is different. 
5. I could jump back in and be a real beast at it, however, politics makes me angry so why pull the trigger and be angry all the time. 
6. Politics are quid pro quo. 
7. Politics are tribal and when people get emotionally involved their reasoning ability goes down.
8. I'm not going to argue with emotional people, its a waste of time.

Instead, I'll focus on my priorities now of following Jesus, husband, teacher, and friend. One of the best decisions I made was turning off the 24/7 news cycle. 

If a friend wants to discuss policy and we can keep it civil, great, I can roll with that. 

I'm just not going to blister the internet like I used too.

Someone On The Internet Is Wrong

I'm typing on my computer because someone is wrong on the internet. The internet is full of these people. Politics. Pop Culture. Ford vs. Chevy. Religion.

Even I can be wrong. So I'm told.

Telling people they're wrong is a hobby. Arguing is fun. Especially with trolls. Keyboard warriors.

Religion found me. I changed targets. I upped my game because I have smart friends. Politics weren't the issue. No one fact checks things anymore.

Let's talk about something less polarizing like religion.

I'm on Twitter arguing with an atheist. The clock ticks. 140 character bullets fly.

I'm sure every one of them is a kill. The atheist gets up again. He shoots back. It's a battle of attrition. I don't know who gives up first, him or me.

We both walk away thinking we're right.

I'm in front of a computer at work talking a religion. It's a blitzkrieg. I'm being massacred.

Questions fly like bombers. I answer as fast as I can. My smart friends are relentless.

One says I should think deeper. I think I could be if he would let me answer before hitting me again. I limp off the digital battlefield.

I open my phone. A religious question about the Gnostic gospels comes up on Facebook.

I keep scrolling. These are better answered one-on-one over coffee or email. Social media proselyting is murder.

What Kind Of Superhero Would I Be?

I recently got hooked on a show called My Hero Academia. It's an anime about a world where almost everyone has superpowers and go to a hero school if possible.

One of the main characters is Deku, who didn't have any powers-called "quirks" on the show. He was given one by the world's most famous hero. Imagine Superman giving you his superpowers and retiring.

If I was my own superhero, what would I be?

Not Batman. That comes with dead parents. But I'll take some aspects of his.
Not Superman or even Captain America.

What would I be as a superhero?

Moral. Competent. Street-Smarts with head smarts. Wise. Gentle, generous, kind and a comforting presence to be around. Calm yet firm. Some things he wouldn’t allow...
Noble.

What would that look like?