We’re all familiar with the concept of nations and countries with their governments. There are even a few kingdoms left. So why do we have a hard time wrapping our minds around the Kingdom of God?
Why don’t we act accordingly, as citizens of the Kingdom and less aligned with our worldly alliances?
In ancient times, and arguably still today, nations had patron deities or pantheons. When they went to war, it was a battle of the gods.
At the Tower of Babel, humans were scattered and assigned to different members of Yahweh’s Divine Council (see Deuteronomy 32). They were the administrators while God focused on starting Israel with an eye towards bringing everybody back to Him.
The Egyptian plagues were God showing the Egyptian rebel pantheon who was boss. Canaan was meting out justice on the Canaanite pantheon and their subjects.
They crept back in, even Molech, and the Israelites worshipped them alongside Yahweh. Molech was a detestable deity that people sacrificed their children to by placing their bodies on a molten hot statue’s arms. (Leviticus 18:21)
I would say Molech is alive and well in the abortion industry.
Alongside other gods and spirits, we have exalted worldviews, ideologies, and nations. Wokeness, Marxism, Conservatism, Progressivenism, America First, Trump, Republicans, Democrats, Anarcho-Capitalism; the list could go on.
For example, if you preach or attack something more than you proclaim and show Jesus to the world, then I can see who you’re following.
I look at the evil in the world, and I can see Satan whispering in people’s ears.
People are unmoored and adrift in the sea of postmodern relativism. The time of the Judges looked a lot like what we have now. “Every man did what he wanted because there was no king.”
Churches today are starting to drift. When Israel incorporated the worship of other gods in their lives, God punished them. The Babylonians burned down the Temple on God’s authority.
Like the Canaanites, He drove them from the land. God isn’t a respecter of persons.
All because they wouldn’t root out the cancerous evil permeating their lives and land. Israel was supposed to be God’s Kingdom and a light to the world.
Then the temple was rebuilt. Then Herod the Great made it bigger and better. However, the system was corrupt again.
The temple was one of the world’s wonders and deemed too big to fail. Jesus said it would be destroyed in a generation’s time. Rome burned it to the ground.
I see it as a humbling and scary reminder that God doesn’t need FirstNLR or the Assembly of God fellowships to continue His plan. We’re privileged to be allowed to be His hands and feet.
The Catholic Church, Southern Baptists, Methodists, Lutheran, Anglican, Church of God in Christ, and so on can disappear tomorrow, and it won’t stop God. Look at the seven churches at the start of Revelation.
When an Israelite lived a life of unrepentant sin, they were banished until they turned back to God. Paul said the same thing about the guy who wouldn’t stop having sex with his stepmom.
“I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do. I am told that a man in your church is living in sin with his stepmother. 2 You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man from your fellowship.” 1 Corinthians 5:1-2
He was kicked out. He later repented and they welcomed him back. Church leaders don’t cover up or slap sin on the wrist in the congregation. Instead, deal with the unrepentant sin among Christ-followers.
We’re all works in progress and will need correcting. However, the Holy Spirit will convict and add weight to the words of any legitimate warnings. The Kingdom of God is a government ruled by Jesus and administered by Spirit-Empowered believers.
John the Baptist preached, “Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand.” Jesus came and said the same, with this addition, “Follow me.”
He’s not tagging along in your endeavors; Jesus is going one way, and we follow him. So now, live like a supernatural citizen of an otherworldly realm.
I sat in church, listening to the choir repeat the same stanza a dozen times. At that moment, I remembered a book my wife and I got as a wedding gift, along with a question.
Are we wired to show/receive love to God in different ways?
Scanning the sanctuary during the singing, I saw most people with hands raised. Others had their hands down. Many people were standing, others were sitting, and one guy was waving his lighter in the air.
Kidding. I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
What does this have to do with anything?
The book is called The Five Love Languages, and I recommend it for all couples.
Can they apply to God?
The five languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, and acts of service.
We can take physical touch out of the equation.
My love language is quality time. Luckily, it’s my wife’s too. I show love with acts of service.
Quality time translates into learning all I can about God, i.e., quality time in the Bible, prayer, and theology books.
Acts of service would be volunteering. Matthew 25:37-40 tells us when we help others, it’s the same as doing that for God. If you have kids, how does that make you feel when someone does something for them?
It’s the same idea.
Words of affirmation are easy. That’s thanking God, praise, and singing. What we typically think of as worship.
So you see, worship doesn’t have to be cookie-cutter. So what’s your love language with God?
I’ve chewed on this post for a couple of months now, and it has me spitting nails. Can we say we live in a culture of outrage? Or at least it’s more amplified because of social media.
How about being outraged over something substantive?
Exhibit A: A male (I refuse to call him a man) got on a train with his kids. He’s looking for a fight.
A woman tells him to chill.
He hits her in the face. My blood pressure went up seeing that.
The male beside her did nothing. No one did. Only one guy said, “Stop.”
Why didn’t anyone intervene? They had the numbers.
One person, willing and capable, can deter violence by presence alone. I’ve been that person on a few occasions.
Christ-Followers have two rules: love God and love your neighbor. Who’s your neighbor? Everyone. See the parable of the Good Samaritan.
Sometimes that means we protect our neighbor. But, on the other hand, that may mean doing bad things to bad people to get them to stop.
Those aren’t times to turn your cheek.
One of the greatest prayers I heard my pastor pray was when he prayed that anyone abusing a child would drop dead.
At a Project Rescue home in India, former pimps who have been saved and follow Jesus protect the women who left the life of prostitution and sex trafficking.
I love it.
I’ll close with a tale of two schools. One is in Kentucky, and the other is in Louisiana.
In Hazard, Kentucky, the school had a pep rally where the boys cross-dressed and gave lap dances to the officials. One of them being the Principal/Mayor of Hazard.
The cheerleaders were dressed as Hooters girls.
Did the parents not know, or were they negligent? If my son or daughter told me they were planning something like that, I would be visiting the school.
It’s not wrong to see the good in others or what they could be. However, we cannot be naive either.
If darkness is evil and light is good, then no one is very bright except sleeping babies. Even Christians, though we’re supposed to grow brighter over time.
If not, are you even following Jesus?
There’s a theological concept called the total depravity of man. Slipknot even has a song about it.
Ecclesiastes, the most cynical book in the Bible, says the hearts of man are full of evil, and there is madness in their hearts while they live. (9:3)
Please take note of this, evil and madness, because the things we do don’t even make sense. Like accusing your enemies of doing something (and they are) but so are you.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each turned to his own way. (Isaiah 53:6)
After writing this, the Hidden Brain podcast has an episode that illustrates it well: Both Things Can Be True.
We make laws to control these tendencies or to conform to some order. Psychology tries to explain us, and the DSMV, which categorizes various disorders, is constantly updated.
Yet Jeremiah 17:9 tells us the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond all cure. Who can understand it?
It’s a rare person who isn’t hypocritical in one way or another.
Paul tells Titus everything is pure to whose hearts are pure. But nothing is pure to those who are corrupt and unbelieving because their minds and consciences are corrupted. Such people claim to know God, but they deny him by how they live. (Titus 1:15-16)
Is that offensive?
Jesus says all who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. A human solution won’t fix this.
There is a solution, though.
“But this is the new covenant I will make with the people of Israel after those days,” says the Lord. “I will put my instructions deep within them, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. And they will not need to teach their neighbors, nor will they need to teach their relatives, saying, ‘You should know the Lord.’ For everyone, from the least to the greatest, will know me already,” says the Lord. “And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins.” Jeremiah 31:33-34
“Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. Your filth will be washed away, and you will no longer worship idols. And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.” Ezekiel 36:25-27
You may think it’s not that bad. Everyone has some good in them.
“However, if righteous people turn from their righteous behavior and start doing sinful things and act like other sinners, should they be allowed to live? No, of course not! All their righteous acts will be forgotten, and they will die for their sins.
“Yet you say, ‘The Lord isn’t doing what’s right!’ Listen to me, O people of Israel. Am I the one not doing what’s right, or is it you? When righteous people turn from their righteous behavior and start doing sinful things, they will die for it. Yes, they will die because of their sinful deeds. And if wicked people turn from their wickedness, obey the law, and do what is just and right, they will save their lives. They will live because they thought it over and decided to turn from their sins. Such people will not die. And yet the people of Israel keep saying, ‘The Lord isn’t doing what’s right!’ O people of Israel, it is you who are not doing what’s right, not I.
“Therefore, I will judge each of you, O people of Israel, according to your actions, says the Sovereign Lord. Repent, and turn from your sins. Don’t let them destroy you! Put all your rebellion behind you, and find yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O people of Israel? I don’t want you to die, says the Sovereign Lord. Turn back and live!” Ezekiel 18:24-32
There isn’t a set of scales weighing the good and evil in a person’s life. You can’t get into God’s Kingdom by doing good deeds because even one bad thing wipes it all out. Only perfection can get in.
God doesn’t want anyone to die, but His justice and goodness mean He has to do something about evil.
“The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent. But the day of the Lord will come as unexpectedly as a thief. Then the heavens will pass away with a terrible noise, and the very elements themselves will disappear in fire, and the earth and everything on it will be found to deserve judgment.” 2 Peter 3:9-10
I like how C.S Lewis puts it in Mere Christianity.
“But I freely admit that real Christianity (as distinct from Christianity-and-water) goes much nearer to Dualism than people think. One of the things that surprised me when I first read the New Testament seriously was that it talked so much about a Dark Power in the universe—a mighty evil spirit who was held to be the Power behind death and disease, and sin. The difference is that Christianity thinks this Dark Power was created by God, and was good when he was created, and went wrong. Christianity agrees with Dualism that this universe is at war. But it does not think this is a war between independent powers. It thinks it is a civil war, a rebellion, and that we are living in a part of the universe occupied by the rebel. Enemy-occupied territory—that is what this world is. Christianity is the story of how the rightful king has landed, you might say landed in disguise, and is calling us all to take part in a great campaign of sabotage. When you go to church you are really listening in to the secret wireless from our friends: that is why the enemy is so anxious to prevent us from going.”
“On the other hand, if you think of a debt, there is plenty of point in a person who has some assets paying it on behalf of someone who has not. Or if you take ‘paying the penalty’, not in the sense of being punished, but in the more general sense of ‘standing the racket’ or ‘footing the bill’, then, of course, it is a matter of common experience that, when one person has got himself into a hole, the trouble of getting him out usually falls on a kind friend. Now what was the sort of ‘hole’ man had got himself into? He had tried to set up on his own, to behave as if he belonged to himself. In other words, fallen man is not simply an imperfect creature who needs improvement: he is a rebel who must lay down his arms. Laying down your arms, surrendering, saying you are sorry, realising that you have been on the wrong track and getting ready to start life over again from the ground floor—that is the only way out of our ‘hole’. This process of surrender—this movement full speed astern—is what Christians call repentance. Now repentance is no fun at all. It is something much harder than merely eating humble pie. It means unlearning all the self-conceit and self-will that we have been training ourselves into for thousands of years. It means killing part of yourself, undergoing a kind of death. In fact, it needs a good man to repent. And here comes the catch. Only a bad person needs to repent: only a good person can repent perfectly. The worse you are the more you need it and the less you can do it.”
“Another possible objection is this. Why is God landing in this enemy-occupied world in disguise and starting a sort of secret society to undermine the devil? Why is He not landing in force, invading it? Is it that He is not strong enough? Well, Christians think He is going to land in force; we do not know when. But we can guess why He is delaying. He wants to give us the chance of joining His side freely. I do not suppose you and I would have thought much of a Frenchman who waited till the Allies were marching into Germany and then announced he was on our side. God will invade. But I wonder whether people who ask God to interfere openly and directly in our world quite realise what it will be like when He does. When that happens, it is the end of the world. When the author walks on to the stage the play is over. God is going to invade, all right: but what is the good of saying you are on His side then, when you see the whole natural universe melting away like a dream and something else—something it never entered your head to conceive—comes crashing in; something so beautiful to some of us and so terrible to others that none of us will have any choice left? For this time it will be God without disguise; something so overwhelming that it will strike either irresistible love or irresistible horror into every creature. It will be too late then to choose your side. There is no use saying you choose to lie down when it has become impossible to stand up. That will not be the time for choosing: it will be the time when we discover which side we really have chosen, whether we realised it before or not. Now, today, this moment, is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It will not last forever. We must take it or leave it.“
What can I say about 2021? It wasn’t what I expected. Covid is still making its rounds, and I’m over it on so many levels. That’s all I’ll say about that.
I ended the last retrospect with “Despite all of this, or maybe in spite of it, I could see the Hand of God working through our lives this year. It was definitely the Year of Provision.
Even when my trust wavered, God met all our needs.”
Put a pin in that, watch as the story of 2021 unfolds.
Surprise!
In December 2019, we announced we were pregnant. Then, in Christmas of 2020, we assured everyone there would be no announcements.
Then we found out Casey was pregnant again. Years of infertility and doctors and the dam broke. We were all surprised at that one.
I immediately began stressing about money again. Pastor Rod prayed with me for a financial miracle. It came in the form of lots of overtime.
But work left me feeling unappreciated by the crew because I was trying to balance making everything easy on them and maintain production.
With Baby #2, we would need to find a bigger place in the future. We had a few years, and they could share a room. But I needed a new car. My 19-year old Ranger wasn’t going to cut it.
February brought the most snow I had ever seen. It almost collapsed the grid. We also announced the pregnancy.
Burnout
I fell into a pit in March. Not a literal one, but I couldn’t keep up. I was rethinking my routines, my habits collapsing under the weight of exhaustion.
We called people back to work and began training new employees. I was trying to do my job and other people’s jobs on top of running as much as possible. All to make everyone happy, especially with our high turnover.
Pastor Rod’s prayer was answered again when my work bonus and an unexpectedly large tax return paid off my wife’s car, and I was able to get a Toyota Camry. I put a Batman logo on it, and it’s now the BatCamry.
It doesn’t come in black, though.
It’s April, and The Great Resignation started to let itself be known in Arkansas. We were losing guys to other companies. We were losing business, and I didn’t mind being as busy as we were.
I did an unofficial exit interview for feedback on my ability as a supervisor. I’m approachable, strict where I need to be but maybe not enough.
The Second Surprise
We also found out about our baby’s gender. Sam wasn’t a surprise to us, just those at the reveal. This time, we wanted to be surprised too.
Our best friends, who are the kids’ godparents, did it at their home. My wife is very excitable, and I warned her to be careful since she held our son. Don’t drop him.
I pulled the string on the powder cannon, and she started screaming. I felt Sam’s head hit my shoulder and the poor guy almost got whiplash from all the jumping down.
I got him from her and looked over my shoulder to see why she was excited.
It was pink.
Her dreams were starting to come true.
May arrived, and I felt like I was being taken for granted at work. I have guys that are screw-ups, undependable, and I’m carrying their weight. I tried to fire one, but we were so desperate for help, I wasn’t allowed to.
I was reaching my limits.
We restarted Sunday School in February, and our attendance was depressing months later. I was teaching the volunteers for that class primarily.
A Light At The End Of The Tunnel?
May did have some good. My brother from another mother got out of rehab, and I got to see him at his daughter’s graduation.
Also, a shift supervisor position opened up at work. I needed the money and thought I was ready to run a shift.
In June, we put the class on hold, and in place of it, a Bible Study was started on Wednesdays by a new Deaf couple in the church. That was some weight off my shoulders.
I was already planning like I had gotten the job. My wife was going to be a stay-at-home mom and everything. The shift supervisor on my shift was moved to take the place of the one who left, so I was “acting” shift supervisor until the position was filled.
I was going to show them I had what it takes, despite having four people quit since the start of the year. So my answer to “Why should we hire you?” was me saying I stand on my record.
The Third Surprise
Then I got a phone call in the middle of June. The owner of the house we were renting was selling it. He offered it to us first, but it’s too small for a family of four.
I admit I panicked. Could we even afford to move? Were we going to be homeless? I ran to my prayer group.
We learned we did have breathing room. The realtor selling that house would help us find another and we could stay in the one we’d been living in until we did.
It looks like our timeline to buy a house was moved up and not at a good time. It was a seller’s market, and homes were going under contract fast.
In July, we found a cute house with a big shaded backyard we liked that was five minutes away from our friends and daycare.
We made an offer but were rejected. However, our realtor, Felicia, had an ace up her sleeve. A rental was about to hit the market in a nice neighborhood.
We loved it, but I couldn’t make the numbers work. Not if Casey was going to be a stay-at-home mom. The stress was making me physically ill.
Our home was sold to another investor, and they said we could stay. I was leery of rent going up but glad we had a safety net. So Casey and I decided to keep looking throughout the month, and if nothing by August, we’d stay.
Casey got a sense to look in Lonoke on Zillow and found a house she loved. We made an offer, and it was accepted. It was a flip house with four bedrooms and two baths. An agricultural town, it was eligible for the Rural Development Loan. That means no down payment is needed.
My 401K was safe. However, the loan/home-buying process was stressful, let me tell you.
Especially since I didn’t get the promotion, I didn’t know how we would afford daycare with two kids. My crew wondered if I didn’t get it because I was too nice.
God had a reason, and even though I didn’t like it, He would show me in hindsight.
I began to look for part-time job ideas. I began negotiating with the bill companies to lower certain bills, cutting some services, downgrading others.
Literally On Fire
Not getting the promotion took the legs out from under me. It killed my motivation for a while. Finally, I decided I’ll still strive to be the best, but I’m not running myself into the ground or sacrificing for them. Because we were behind, I sacrificed three weeks of leave I could have spent with my son.
It all caught up to me, and I called into work. No energy. I never call in.
The verse about Jesus’ yoke being light went through my mind. I needed to get out of God’s way and let Him work.
I was getting excited, though. We closed on the house on August 13th, and on the 19th was C-Section Day.
August still staggered me with its To-Do list. There was work, packing to move, gathering papers for the mortgage process, kids, finances, and getting everything together for the essential worker voucher I recently learned existed.
The Baby Is Coming
August 12th arrived, and we went in for our last check-up before our baby girl, Faith, came. Casey wasn’t even dilated. It was my last day of work until October.
We could move completely in before she arrived on the 19th. We closed on the 13th, and I made two trips to the house with keys in hand. It was ours now.
The next day, August 14th, Casey went into labor at work. At 1:52 pm, Faith was here, and our former pastor and a dear friend was our interpreter. Faith was 8lbs even and 21.5 inches long.
Unlike when Sam was born, Casey was allowed one visitor a day. First, her mom came to see her. Then she went to our house to watch Sam and pack what we had left.
I had a long talk with Bobby, the brother from another mother, on the phone that night about me needing to stop stressing and enjoy this time with my new daughter.
Russ and Chris helped me start moving that evening when we got home from the hospital. We stayed one more night, and the following day, Bobby rolled in with his kids. Russ showed up, and later Kee. Casey’s stepdad had a big trailer.
We busted our butts, and by that night, were moved into our new house. Just a few things left me and Daniel, my father-in-law, could get.
All that was left was unpacking and making the house move-in ready.
While I wasn’t teaching anymore, I was still volunteering with GriefShare. We shut down in-person meetings in March of 2020. Sam wasn’t even born yet.
When we restarted them, I had two kids at home. It blew my mind.
The Fourth Surprise
I began fixing up the house and noticing some things that took the shine off the house. But unfortunately, the honeymoon ended pretty quickly. Drywall cracks had me reaching out to a structural engineer and foundation repair places at the end of the month.
September brought my bandwidth back. I wasn’t as overwhelmed. The house was taking up most of it, though. The soil is causing the piers to settle, but it’s structurally sound. Various foundation repair places quoted me between 12,000-36,000 to fix it.
I had 3-4 years until it had to be done, though. With that in mind, I could plan and save. Until then, I wasn’t giving up; I was making it a home, dusting off my dormant handyman skills.
Sam started to walk, assisted, pushing stuff around. As I work around the house, he’s been my sidekick, my electric screwdriver his favorite toy. He’ll point it at whatever I’m working on.
Reorienting
I joined a men’s group at church and was enjoying it. Iron Men, a band of believing brothers. I thought about finding a way to tie my former life and current life together, a Wicked Jester “Wolf” attitude with Christianity.
To feed myself spiritually, I listened to more sermons than apologetic or current event podcasts. I studied Revelation and the depravity of man. Was my niceness from forgetting that no one is good, all of us have darkness inside?
The first day of October had me back at work and reflecting on leaving Reach Deaf Ministry’s leadership team.
I’ve been on an unplanned writing sabbatical that I’ve used to work on myself. Studying Wild At Heart in tandem with Iron Men and Russ was part of that.
I learned that the crew at work adapted and didn’t need me to be as hands-on as I was—a relief.
As I went through Wild At Heart, it was digging some stuff up. After reading the chapter on posers, I verbally said, “Ronin was a poser.” That’s my old nom de guerre/nom de plumbe.
My wound is feeling like I was incompetent and incapable, so I overcompensated, resulting in the Ronin mask. Where I think I’m weak, I’m strong. Dunning-Krueger is at work in a positive direction.
The Lion of Judah needs more focus while not neglecting the Lamb. I had to remember Jesus was the Commander of the LORD’s Army in Joshua and Revelation.
I began to realize the Fruit of the Spirit was back in my life. So I decided to stay with Reach and started doing the 90-Day Challenge from Pastor Rod’s book Immediate Obedience again.
In October, I painted the front porch a mix of vibrant colors to bring a happy vibe. Sitting on it is one of my favorite things to do. Casey even found a tiny Adirondack chair for Sam to sit in, and Kee made us matching throw pillows.
We Interrupt Your Regular Programming…Pastor Rod named the feeling I had all year in a prophetic message. A Spirit of Heaviness. That post is the previous one to this. So the remedy is to reach up and reach out.
Still working through and reflecting on the book study, I often think about this quote: “Many men are afraid to let their strength show up because the world doesn’t have a place for it.
How would things change if you let people feel the weight of who you are and deal with it?”
“If you want to know how the world really feels about you, just start living out of your true strength. Say what you think, stand up for the underdog, challenge foolish policies. They’ll turn on you like sharks. The world of posers is shaken by a real man. They’ll do whatever it takes to get you back in line—threaten you, bribe you, seduce you, undermine you. They crucified Jesus. But it didn’t work, did it? You must let your strength show up. Remember Christ in the Garden, the sheer force of his presence? Many of us have actually been afraid to let our strength show up because the world doesn’t have a place for it. Fine. The world’s screwed up. Let people feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.”
It’s really easy to use that as a blank check to be an asshole. “I’m just being me.” I don’t want to regress to that.
Since being a Christian is following Christ, I’m looking at Jesus in the Gospels to see how he acted.
I’ve been reflecting on that a lot, and I’m sure some blog posts will come of it. They’ll probably be as measured as usual but a bit more in-your-face. I have some thoughts that kids’ willing, will be posted at least once a week.
God took us to an even deeper level of trust this year. An unexpected pregnancy, an old car, and a house that wasn’t enough. It looked like we were heading to the poor house for sure.
And I grew up in poverty, and I didn’t want to return.
We ended the year with two healthy kids, a new-to-me car, a house that is ours, and we’re making it work. And we got the voucher so we can afford daycare.
It’s like the song “Waymaker” by Sinach. “Even when I don’t see it You’re working/You never stop/You never stop working.”
